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Herein you find my contribution
The latestList of cherished memories and experiences, in no particular order, started on July 21, 2005 One lovely day walking around San Francisco and holding hands across a stickshift on the way home; a romantic dinner put on by two guys; massive retaliation; discussing what he’s reading; dressing alike; exploring the gray areas and so much more...with David Special treats from grandparents: the Sugar Daddies on top of the fridge, Country Time lemonade mix in the bottom cupboard, hidden Pepsi bottles, and preferred cereals and salad dressings I got to pick out upon arriving. Playing in the yard and Madrone neighborhood, chasing butterflies, taking ballet/tap/belly dancing/gymnastics, making penny carnivals out of Legos, tending my little garden plot at grandma’s, tagging along with mom..the 70’s. Garlic fries followed by Chips Ahoy cookies dipped in a chocolate malt, season or last-minute tickets to Bay Area sports, boxing with braces, looking up family history in the National Archives, the last Giants game at Candlestick Park, taking Michael to the zoo for the first time...with my childhood nemesis and grown up companion, my brother Brian. Watching fabulously silly theme parties, trips, card nights, and general friendship among women; helping out at work (hers and mine); escaping the house; sharing teen fiction; making holiday cookies;acting on political views in campaigns, fundraisers, a march; swatting the gnats in Mexico...with mom. Playing tennis, catch, basketball, and miniature golf, swimming and playing in the pool at the Acalanes apartment, going to Oakwood Lake, Great America, softball games, Half Moon Bay, the old San Mateo Bridge, or just on a drive, always riding in the backseat and singing out the back window...with dad and Brian. Helping grandma make decorations for the fourth of July, set up for street sales of her crocheted goods, and make currant jelly or fresh donuts or pies. Collecting mail from Box 366. I still remember the combination. Eating the trout which I’d catch in the stream across the street; grandpa cleaned it, and grandma fried it up. Playing with Meg. Braving the cold waters of the river and running home for lunch at the sound of the noon siren. Summers in Livingston Manor. Hanging out, wandering Super Safeway at midnight, swinging in the park after dark, TP’ing houses, planning elaborate parties, concerts, dances, the comfort of a family, and so on...with Sherri and Jim. Trips to Ojai, Ensenada, and just to dinner or down the street, sharing a bed one summer, bitching and crying, arguing with mom, tending to wounds...with Tara. My first Cure concert, 1985--the whirling black-skirted dancers with their glowing cigarettes below us and the atmospheric music; a summer of repeating records and first love...with Chad. Driving right past Homestead to look at fancy houses on Hamilton Avenue with Kalpana and Mandy, senior year first period. Living in Beard House at UCSC. The bus ride back from Yosemite in 8th grade. The San Jose State-Texas Christian football game, in which the lowly Spartans fabulously upset TCU; fans poured onto the field and tore down the goal posts right in front of us, with Brian, naturally. Working at NSTA; lunches with Tyson and Rhonda, conference travel with Jennifer and Brian A; a wonderfully friendly farewell from our friends in DC. Mysterious scarecrows in the community garden plot, fictional lesbianism, and one overcolored cake...with Erin. Dancing the night away to Michael Jackson and other disco/pop with Brian and our then step-sister Cathy one night when the parents were out, 1980. Buying M&M’s at the snack bar and sitting in on my next door neighbor’s high school classes, 1976 or so. The Women’s World Cup semifinals at Stanford Stadium on the fourth of July, with Brian and David. School plays and cast parties, 6th grade, 8th grade, high school. Reading and memorizing a little red Spanish text for children at the Ortega library. Making structures for my Barbie dolls out of discarded cardboard; sending Barbie on a date with Saturday Night Fever-clad Snoopy. Going to football games at my brother’s high school. My little hideaway under the stairs at our condo on Connemara. Getting a Fanta from the soda machine in my grandmother’s beauty shop in Columbus. Watching When Harry Met Sally for the first time, on video, with David at his urging. Watching the Waltons or some other cheesy drama with my grandmas. The package of cheery notes from friends back home, summer 1986. Bicycling the neighborhood to clear my head, drowning out the world with my Walkman. Working at Capezio with Laura and Tiffany, whose amusements outdid anything I could muster, then or now. Reading World Book Encyclopedia and favorite Childcraft volumes, 1976 edition. Walking and catching up with Shalann. Making jewelry, playing with unusual instruments, and going to ballet class at David and Lois’s. Bundled for warmth at the telescopes above the clouds in Hawaii. Designing our wedding invitation and cake and then bringing together a wonderful array of family and friends for one night in San Francisco. Making mix tapes and then mix CD’s and enjoying the creative efforts of others, such as Joseph’s Cliche--a mix tape classic. Time with family, near and extended, happy or sad times, mundane or uniquely special occasions. I am nothing without my family. News from Abroad, Volume 4, July 2005 Dear friends, I fear my life pales in comparison to many of yours, and yet I feel compelled to create a News from Abroad note. All is well here. I'm still a full-time student, working a fellowship job at school. David is still working officially for Beaumont Foundation of America (the "of America" part is key) and on the side pursuing his interests in the open source software market. We still live in Beaumont. I still drive to and from Houston once each week, where we keep a cute apartment in a very nice part of town. We still subscribe to cable TV, Tivo (a lifetime commitment), and Netflix (want to be our friend?). I still practice the piano, although I've come to realize I will always be a beginner. We still maintain a California-based cell phone number (650-283-9462); it's David's but I use the voicemail, so feel free to leave me a message. I am still exploring family history in my not-so-copious spare time. I am still 5'4" and my hair color is generally brown. Since last writing, here's what I've done or found out that is new: Organized one-third of the books in our office (lest you mutter, "What? Only a third? Who cares!" check out my blog with photo evidence of the volume comprising one third). Contacted LL Bean, 7-Up, and the power company regarding product complaints (the first two were quite happily resolved). Planted three types of flowering greenery around the naked backyard cherub (it was lacking any landscaping, making its oddness all the more pronounced in our otherwise lush backyard). Organized my family history records and confirmed information on two relatives: Crisante Eugeni and Maria Pataccoli were my great great grandparents. They married in 1873, and she died in 1923, all in Ascoli Piceno. It would seem they were 30 and 29 when they got married but records before Italian unification can be difficult to confirm. Changed job from office work to research work. I am now a bonafide research assistant--woo hoo! I am the third member (third wheel?) of a longstanding program evaluation team. It is excellent experience and I was honored to have been selected for the job. For the first time since the 7th grade, maintained a 4.0 GPA two consecutive school terms in a row. I didn't get grades in college, though I'm not sure that would have mattered. And not that it matters at this stage, but I'm pretty darn proud of myself nonetheless. Grown minorly addicted to The O.C. Laughter, romance, angst, people you just want to shake some sense into. It's perfect summertime drama. Grown rather fond of (addicted would be too strong a word here) Bob's Red Mill extra thick rolled oats for breakfast and Gilad's exercise programs on FitTV. Had minor surgery on my toe. Hmm, this was a while ago but maybe I didn't share it. Anyway, I had a suspicious mole removed from between two toes (it was all benign). I got to watch the incision and have the wound cauterized and have stitches and, sorry. Not everyone's a fan, I know. Got on the irate customer list for Reliant Energy in Houston. Apparently my incredulity at the tech people's inability to walk through the totally not secure gate of my little apartment complex put me on this list. You be the judge: The customer service manager's suggestion was "We can give you a 72 hour window in which the technician might come. Can you leave the gate open during that time, please?" I told her that was impossible to guarantee, seeing as that I had 11 neighbors who pass in and out and the gate may or may not be left ajar. I asked her to note on the request that the gate was easily opened and usually left ajar, that a uniformed energy company person should have no trouble gaining access or trust--the grounds are wide open and they did not need to go into any buildings. On three separate occasions they were unable to get in. My reaction got a bit impatient at that point. "What?! The restaurant delivery people manage to get through all the time to put menus on my doorstep and my neighbor's pizza delivery guy managed it quite easily five minutes ago. The technician can't stick his hand through a five inch gap in the bars right next to the handle or reach over the see-through, chest-high gate?" Then she told me she had no way to make notes for the tech people, they worked for a different company or something. You have GOT to be kidding.) Started my own blog to supplement (replace?) the old website ramblings. I'm trying to be regular about it. Goodness knows I have plenty to say. I recently posted a call for sample survey items. I think there are currently three people who have ever viewed my blog besides me. Boost my visitors tally, would ya? http://hellemic.blogspot.com Welcome to all the new offspring. Joining the 3-and-under set of Michael, Victoria, Kyle, and Tony, are infants William, Frances, Riley, Tobias, Justin, Olivia, Gavin, and Kiera. What joy and mischief they all promise to bring their parents. Enjoy! Next month we travel to Greece. We're flying to Dallas then London then Athens then boarding a ferry for Kos, in the Dodecanese off the coast of Turkey, north of Rhodes. We expect to be en route for almost two days. Relaxation of sailboat, blue waters, and a few casual shore trips will make up for the long journey (and months of Ramen eating I have to look forward to). After that it's just back to school. We'll stay in Texas for Thanksgiving again this year. No plans yet for Christmas, but California is likely. I think next summer I will do a road trip, drive up the Mississippi, cross over to Northeast and then back down again. I'd like to see friends and family, blast the radio and revisit the highways beyond I-10 for a bit. Any joiners out there? The newest of the old stuff4/8/05: We were knocked down by the flu but like good little weeble-wobbles, we’ve perked back up. Now the yard beckons. Gorgeous spring temperatures and low humidity have made me temporarily forget the general nastiness that is normal Southeast Texas weather. The yard boasts blooming hibsicus and amaryllis and who-knows-what and who-knows-what-else (I’ve got pictures but no names for some plants). Hockey season ends tonight for our struggling Wildcatters. The car is being pelted with bugs on the night drives home. And dumb summer movies are filling the megaplex down the road. (Still I will have managed a good movie there, so all’s not terrible.) In short spring is in the air and all is good. 2/28/05: It was a perfect spring day with warm sunshine and a crisp breeze. My hair was clean, straight and hanging down, I was sans makeup and dressed in a comfortable hooded sweatshirt. Thus I went about my chores, from dishwashing to post office to bank to carwash. As I did so something struck me as odd: on this lovely mid-weekday outing I’d seen precisely two people who looked like me: the man cleaning my car’s interior and the smokey-breathed stereotypical trailer-park woman in line at the post office. Around here women’s faces don’t see the light of day without pancake makeup or dramatically coifed hair (age and ethnicity play parts in each decision I suspect). And looking casual means wearing mall trends or tucked-shirt and khakis. I’m aware that impressions can make a difference in official and semi-official interactions, but is everyone who leaves their house in Southeast, Texas enagaged in some official capacity? I miss California casual. 2/1/05: Argh! I’m just too frustrated to think clearly but I must respond to the Postcards from Buster thing (a show that I had never heard of until this happened). Margaret Spellings criticized PBS for choosing to show Buster visiting a Vermont family with (gasp!) lesbian mothers. The show’s entire format is built around Buster visiting families who represent varied cultural/regional experiences. Okay, when visiting Vermont is it not appropriate then to include children in families affected by the state’s legalization of civil unions? Would the experience of such a family not be a unique regional difference worth observing? Is my judgment so clouded by open-mindedness that I fail to see the wrongdoing of this program? It seems to me that Spellings objects to the episode’s content on a moral level and not an educational one. She points out that the show should pay closer attention to federal funds’ intent because compliance is being more closely monitored; if PBS chooses to air the program they ought to do several things, she advises. My response to her is, thanks for your opinion and threats. My response to PBS is get a backbone; pay back federal funds and take off DOE seal for that episode (as requested by Spellings). If intent of show is to include all sorts of people--without judgment--then do that. Read Spellings’ letter (http://www.ed.gov/policy/elsec/guid/secletter/050125.html) and form your own opinion. 1/10/05: I don’t do new year’s resolutions (and have yet to discuss it with anyone who does--what’s going on in the world?!). The calendar does not hold cosmic significance to me. However, I do make (or revisit) resolutions all the time. Which probably makes them resolutionettes since full size ones ought to happen less frequently than I seem to make them. Anyway, this is what I resolve today: Be the change I wish to see in the world. A wise quote that reminds me to not only want but BE the good example. It’s easy to do the minimum, avoid, or self indulge. It feels good to do it right the first time. 1/05/05: Back in Texas. The holidays are over. It was wonderful to see so many family and friends over two weeks in our beloved Bay Area. While in California, many people asked us--or read into our behaviors--that we were homesick. We’ve had this before. Maybe because it’s Texas and not some metropolitan, left-leaning, history-rich community (which we would probably prefer). Or because we are grown ups now and our families expect we are setting up roots away from our true “home”. David and I agree that there is no competition and no comparison. Texas is not home; it is where we live and we live with that. If we couldn’t stand living someplace else, we wouldn’t. And our willingness to enjoy being where we are would evaporate if all of our family and friends were to move out of the Bay Area. We are content in many ways because we know we can always go home. News from Another WorldVolume 3: December 2004 To friends abroad (that is, outside of Texas): David and I elected not to create the traditional holiday/end of year letter this year. Printer problems compounded an existing malaise about what to share. It’s been another year with ups and downs. One of the “I’ve been good” thoughts David had was “I’ve not shown up at work with a gun.” I on the other hand have made myself so busy with school that I’ve neglected our beautiful yard and don’t know what day it is. Okay on the bright side, we have a new member of our family: Timminy, the Tivo machine. (If you are unfamiliar with Tivo, my adoration will seem unworthy; trust me, Tivo is a wonderful family member.) And we got to travel to New Orleans, Philadelphia, and California and entertained several guests in our cute house in Beaumont. All in all, we have had a wonderful year. We are healthy, the cars are fine after several (mostly not our fault) mishaps, July 4th fireworks lit nothing in the yard on fire (despite one significant misfire), finances are stable, and we have enjoyed the company of family and friends throughout the year. Life is good. Movies and Television: I already mentioned the signficance of Tivo in our lives. Our “season pass” list has dozens of shows, old and new, spanning the channels of digital cable. Though initially we watched more TV (especially given my earlier unemployed status), we’ve gotten to where we watch less and only what we want. Netflix has been pretty meaningful as well. We’ve gotten so deep into Netflix offerings that some of our selections dig at the bottom of the well of strangeness (such as the aptly titled The Day of the Wacko). Through the bounty that is Netflix we’ve been able to keep up with independent movies that were unavailable in Beaumont. By seeing them on DVD we have the added bonus of special features, behind the scenes pieces, and subtitles (just for ME). This year we have enjoyed (off the top of my head) Winged Migration, American Splendor, The Station Agent, Saved!, Step Into Liquid, The Cooler, A Mighty Wind, and (I’m not sure enjoyed is the right word for them) City of God and Capturing the Friedmans. For more on our TV and movie tastes, check out that page. The Election: I’ve not written anything about it here, much to my own surprise. I was speechless for a few days. Sad for a few more. Then I moved on. At no stage did rubbing anyone’s nose in it seem the right thing to do. We each have our opinions, and I respect your right to have your own. With that said, I was amazed at the media response. Jon Stewart made me laugh through all of it, but the election was no laughing matter; indeed, people were genuinely upset. Even the Buddhist Peace Fellowship publicized a statement about the grimness of election results. I too had bleak visions of the future, but I keep plugging along in my independent way. Firearms in Texas: Guns are everywhere and nowhere. There are lots of gun shows. Sporting good stores sell lots of gun stuff. The Fry’s Electronics in Houston reminds patrons that guns are not allowed in the store. And toddlers wear coordinated camouflage outfits--as dress up clothes. These are all constant remidners of the acceptance of guns and hunting around here. Still, I saw my first gun rack-equipped truck only last month. I have to say, I was pretty excited. Student Life: I’m a doctoral student in educational leadership at the University of Houston. The first time I went through school I did so because it was just what one did. I learned a great deal but in my own way, not necessarily making much of an impression on anyone else. I am best when applied, you see. Going back to school this time, older and wiser, I’ve made a conscious attempt to do well. I’ve worked hard and made un-Michelle-like efforts to hobnob and talk in class and ask questions. All of this is helped tremendously by my job. I work 20 hours a week in the department office as a graduate assistant/advisor. I have an optimistic, confident air about me which callers seem to appreciate and I have come to take pride in the quality of my replies. Alas, I do not have the authority to solve every problem (even when I know the perfect answer). :) Anyway, the job has exposed me to the inner workings of the department and the university as a whole, experience which makes my knowledge-hungry ride all the more comfortable. I expect to be finished with classes in 2007. I have no idea what I will do a dissertation on. David, on returning to his “hobby”: After working at DigiGroups (a startup) I realized the whole corporate thing was definitely not the way I wanted my life to head, so I spent some time working on nonprofit-organization-building software. Though there wasn’t any money in consulting for nonprofits, there were a lot of great people, amazing ideas, and huge potential to really change the world (as much as one person can). So now that my job at the Foundation isn’t quite as intense, I’ve gotten back involved with those amazing people and big ideas and spend my evenings helping to build open-source software for nonprofits. If you want more, visit the website at www.social-source.com/. Our new year’s hope: Live a good life, excel at whatever you attempt, take care of yourself, and don't get sucked in to the dark side. Or as Garrison Keillor says so beautifully: “Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.” Please do. A wee bit olderI’ve not written this in here before but it’s probably one of my most long-standing views: Of all the things I dwell on in life, anyone else’s sexual or gender orientation is not on my radar. I absolutely adore when people feel safe and confident enough to let me know of their less-than-widely-accepted self. I marvel at the fact that such conversations “need” to take place at all. Hetero, gay, lesbian, bi, transgender, whatever you are, I am so fine with it as to effectively not even care; “not care” is actually the wrong phrase to describe my sentiment, more like it is of no concern to me in terms of my relationship with another person. Well, I very much care when the issue of sexual orientation shows itself in the form hatred and fear, in which case I want to yell, “Get over it!!! It’s not about YOU!!” I want people to love themselves and cherish each other. I want each person on this planet to find a partner with whom they can be vulnerable, grow as a person, and enjoy unconditional love and respect--and not have it be their offspring. But that’s a whole separate discussion. Evangelism concerns me, the notion that we are made to convert others’ thinking in a purposeful way that helps us on our own path to godliness. I am very much of the view that your religious views should be honored and that what comes of you or me when our earthly selves die is to be determined at that moment and not sooner. Save your judgment for yourself. Do what you know is right for YOU to reach your highest plane. I don’t think all that we call religion is necessarily societally-worthy of worship and devotion. How’s this for the basis of a religion: Do what is universally good. Oddly enough, religious doctrine almost always has that as its foundation. Of course definitions of what is good (and going into ever greater detail about what’s NOT good) are what differentiate one system of belief from another. In this moment, I am okay. Over the course of my remaining days I hope to be okay more often than I am not. I have no control over the future, though, only now. Unless you are in known mortal danger right this very second, you are okay, too. A lightning bolt could kill us five seconds from now or I could die in a car crash tomorrow (knock on wood), but RIGHT NOW we are okay. There are things I can do to increase the likelihood that I will remain okay, but ultimately I have no control over what happens in the future. Nothing is guaranteed. The terror level color thing? I’m sick of hearing about it. I understand where it has a use and I want the government and directly-affected organizations to be informed of threat levels. I don’t want it making the news. Let those whose job it is to deal with the threat be informed of it and let those of us who are not likely to ever face the possibility of defeating the threat directly be blissfully ignorant of it. Hmm, that didn’t come out right. I understand that by being informed that a threat exists we the people might actually take an action that mitigates the threat, but aren’t we just as likely to take an action that inadvertently increases it? What do we think, that we’re miniature gods?!?! I don’t control the future, nor do you. Thinking about potential threats only serve to scare me and make me anxious now. I’d rather save my energy for any actual threats and efforts to do the best I can in this moment. Airline industry faces threat? Okay, they ought to deal with it. Ports face a threat. Okay, take actions to lessen likelihood of actual disaster (though, again, there is only so much anyone can do). Do what you can, do what you carefully and genuinely think is best. Then live life. And smile. Am I being too honest and driving you away? I hope not. Truer words?“Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.” --Yoda "Nobody ever got rich marketing self-control." --Frontline (Diet Wars, 2004) “Peace is more the product of our day-to-day living than of a spectacular program, intermittently executed.” --Eisenhower “Most ideas about teaching are not new, but not everyone knows the old ideas.” --Euclid, c.200BC
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